Do you love me?
All you need is love.
The Beatles wrote about it often, as have so many other artists and musicians. What is it about love that occupies so much of our time?
What is love? How do we define it? How do we express it? How do we know that when we express it, the other person can also understand it? Why do we so easily fall in love, and then quite often fall out of love? Have you ever experienced a time when you fell in love with someone and then at some point felt you didn’t love them or that they didn’t love you?
How do you know that someone loves you? How does someone know that you love them?
In his book series, “The 5 Love Languages”, Dr Gary Chapman outlines why he believes there is so much turmoil in relationships today. He discusses the feeling of being “in love” when a new relationship starts. The time when the other person is perfect; you can’t imagine anyone else in the world you would rather spend every minute with. You are “in tune” with them and their thoughts.
Then he explains the time when the “honeymoon is over” in the relationship and you start to exhibit your individuality. This is not necessarily a bad thing; it is just something that you need to be aware of. He outlines that at this point, the way each of us express and respond to love can differ, and that if we are not aware of these differences, we can quickly feel like the other person is not showing us love.
Dr Chapman puts forward the idea that we all have a particular way that we express love and feel love expressed to us, and he has identified five different ones (the 5 Love Languages). He suggests that if we are not expressing love in the same of the 5 ways that it is like talking in another language.
The 5 Languages of feeling and expressing love are:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
Dr Chapman advocates that the language each person uses may not be the same as the person whom they are intending the expression to be for. It is his idea that many people today are unable to express love to their partner, as they do not understand their love language. He further suggests that it is highly likely that the two people may have vastly different languages.
What is your love language? Which of these are you most likely to feel the biggest impact from if your partner did for you? It is sometimes found that the language you chose to express love is in fact your love language and the one that is most likely to resonate with you.
Take this simple test yourself and then ask your partner to do it also.
www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments
This simple test may help you translate your love language and that of the one you LOVE.
Insight International is a workforce development specialist that believes in developing individuals for greater engagement and productivity. Insight has no relationship with the author or the content of the book, however we are keen to highlight thinking that may assist some people with any aspect of their life. Insight understands that people are not just at work and that there are factors in our private lives that can also have a profound impact on our working lives. It is my wish that you think about the joy you will experience in your life when you are able to understand your love language and that of those who are significant to you. It is then up to you to make a conscious choice to speak it!
Learn Grow Lead applies equally to our relationships at home.
Scott McLoughlin.
Insight International Consultancy
